Hey! Are you single and searching for love? Are you having difficulties meeting the right person? When you experience difficulties finding a dating connection, you get discouraged. Most people’s minds start delving into misconceptions about dating and relationships. Dating is not simple; it requires effort and time.
The life of a single person provides several rewards. You are alone pursuing personal hobbies and interests. You will learn to love your own company and appreciate solitary moments. The decision to transition from singlehood to dating can be daunting. Others find it frustrating and soon give up. They believe being single is best for them and resume their solitary life.
This article will provide you with five useful tips for first-time dating.
1. Live in the present, forget the past
Many of us bring all our worries and negativities into a new relationship. We do this firstly to avoid being hurt, and also for survival. But our fears and negativities wouldn’t stop us from getting hurt again. Studies show that negativities would end up destroying the new relationship.
For example, because an ex was an abuser, doesn’t mean the new one will act the same way. You should focus on what makes the new partner different and trust accordingly.
Questions about dating history should be kept till after a few dates. You should spend the first couple of dates knowing each other. Personality traits, dreams, and plans will teach you more about your date. Keep out all the things that went wrong with your old relationship. Your focus should be on making your new relationship work.
2. Talk about the future early on
We said this earlier, try to focus somewhat on the future. It shouldn’t be a case of knowing the number of kids your date wants. Such questions shouldn’t take up to a year either. Each date should be about knowing more about the other person. You will need to understand better their wants, desires, and plans.
Ensuring that there is a form of alignment in your plans and goals. Of course, these discussions may seem boring, but are deal breakers. You will also need to understand your relationship goals – long-term or fling. Being on a date without open communication is a red flag. You have got to find a way to make it work.
3. Ensure there is a real attraction between yourself and your date
When you have been alone for so long, we sometimes just long for companionship. The urge to be with someone might overwhelm our actual attraction. If we focus on companionship rather than our date, we will miss the point. We will end up boxing people in when they don’t belong there.
Dating burnout is a fact and happens when we box people unnecessarily. In this situation, we tend to overlook red flags because of our desires. Do not force attraction, maintain your wants, and remain focused. Allow your partner to gradually tick all boxes, not box them yourself. Imagine your reaction if your date isn’t your ideal partner, how would you react? Will you still enjoy the companionship or move on? These are vital points to consider when dating for the first time.
4. Also talk about sex!
Yes, sexual compatibility is a must. You deserve to know if you and your date are sexually compatible. You deserve to know about your partner’s sexual health. You should go the whole nine yards – including STD testing, and history.
When you are ready for intimacy, then sex is a vital topic. You should both talk about boundaries, likes, discomforts, etc.
The more open you are the better you will understand what to expect from each other. For example, you can try watching adult live cam shows together. This will help both of you understand the preferences of each other.
metrotimes.com‘s article is a good resource for recommending which webcam shows are great for couples.
You would need to listen without being judgmental. When you both feel you are ready for sex, don’t be shy. Ensure you both are fully into it and ready to commit before sex.
5. Meet each other’s friends
We all love to keep our new relationships under wraps. But it is better to avoid this temptation – keeping it to yourself. It is important to meet each other’s friends. Go on double dates, and you will learn about your partner from their friends. It will also give you extra insight into your relationship. For example, a date with flirts as friends will also be one. Your friends they say are a reflection of ourselves.
These double dates and hangouts tend to expose potential red flags. Your peeps with you might spot a few things you miss. When most crews mix seamlessly, it is a sign of better days. You will be able to establish a beneficial friendship that binds relationships.
BONUS POINT
Have meaningful conversations
The conversation should be heartfelt and one-on-one. Social media shouldn’t be our priority communication tool. Apart from a couple of huffs and puffs, keep social texting minimal. Social texting should be for partner check-ins, making funny remarks, and the like. When discussing feelings or disagreements, it should be in person. Misunderstanding and loss in translation can occur when discussions hold over the phone. Texting also sometimes creates an awkward feeling that makes communication difficult.
Do not hold back when communicating, but be respectful of your partner’s emotions. Always keep communication lines open and ensure it is mostly in person.
Final Thoughts
Here are our five major useful tips to consider for first-timers. Dating is hard and stressful; ensure you get the best of it. Internalize the points in this post and begin your endearing relationship journey. Don’t forget to share this post with friends and family. Until the next article, bye!
